One of my favorite songs is "Waiting on the World to Change." I first learned about it on the Deaf Performing Arts Network website and fell in love with it the first time I watched the music video. If you are interested in watching it, the website is www.d-pan.org.
John Mayer writes in the song about how the world needs to change. One person cannot do the work themselves so rather than working on it, they prefer to wait and let the world change on its own. I believe this song has two perspectives; a satiric view and an inspirational view. Waiting on the world to change could mean, in a satire, that people are too lazy to make an impact in this world. They give their minimal effort, brush their hands off, and say "Well, I tried my best." But to the Deaf community, this has a powerful message, one that is much different than previously stated.
I cannot count how many times I've been pitied because I could not hear. At work, I've been told that it's sad I cannot hear music or how great a sacrifice it is not to be able to hear. Countless times, I wanted to burst out and scream, "You ignorant person! Can't you see? Can't you just open your eyes and see?!" But I've never been good with confrontations and always responded with a shrug and nonexpressional half-smile and pray they pick a new subject to talk about. But I was driving home from school and asked myself that if I had the ability to tell the next person what I think and I answered my question in my head. I then felt the need to write it down on something and show it to the world, or just the small little group of friends who are willing to read my uninteresting thoughts.
For many years, people have looked at the Deaf as the less fortunate. They believe Deaf people could not hold a decent job. They can't drive a car or buy a house and be able to maintain it. Deaf people could not get married and have a family of their own. They can't do a simple task as running a check stand or returning a product back to its place on the shelf at a store where they work. Time after time, I've been neglected because of what people think of me, and time after time, I feel like quitting and go and do something I will regret. And yet, I'm still hanging on to that tiny shimmer of hope that one day the world will finally wake up and realize that Deaf people can do everything and anything they want. So like the song, I'm just waiting on the world to change because I cannot change it on my own.
If it had not been for my relationship with Christ, I would have been a bitter person, hating the world for hating me, for neglecting me and calling me worthless. I would have hated the world for not giving me a chance to prove myself, to show others that I can do anything I want to do. I can drive a truck. I can write a book. I can solve the Rubik's cube. I can work a crossword puzzle. I can do anything. But Jesus tells us that we must love one another and we must be quick to forgive others for any wrongs they have committed against us. We must forgive them just as the Father forgave us through His son. This is a very difficult thing for us to do and there's nothing wrong with admitting it. I admit it's difficult but each time I finally was able to forgive someone, I get a tiny glimmer of understanding of why Jesus died on the cross. Love. You can't forgive someone without loving them, and you can't love someone without being able to forgive them. Jesus prayed and begged God to let the cup of suffering pass him but it wasn't Jesus' will to die, it was God's. And because Jesus loved his Father, he did was he was told to do. He forgave them just as we should forgive others. Without a moment's thought, we should forgive them.
I started out as a Lutheran and later changed to Baptist. Currently, I call myself non-denominational but I attend a Baptist church because that's where I'm most comfortable. I grew up with my mother interpreting for me. Even though my mother so desparately wanted me to know about God's love and who Jesus was, I never could understand or relate to anyone at church. I was "saved" when I was a baby, my head sprinkled with holy water at my dedication in the Lutheran church. But I never was saved. I didn't have Jesus in my heart. Deaf camp changed all that for me. When I was 9 years old, I went to the Deaf Christian youth camp in Leakey, Texas; way down south past San Antonio where all the land seems to flow and come to an abrupt end with hills so high and grass so green. I walked onto the campground and was greeted by the camp pastor, who was Deaf. I very much remember his name and his face, Scott Tankersley. That night, we had a worship service. At the end, Scott stood on the stage and asked that if anyone wanted to become saved, they should come forward. My mother, who was the caretaker for the camp staff's children who were too young to attend camp, looked at me but I shook my head, as if to say "Not yet." The following night, Scott ended the night service with an invitation. My mother looked at me again, and I hesitantly shook my head. I was not ready just yet. On the third night, when Scott stood up there once again and asked if anyone wanted to accept Jesus into their hearts, I practically lept from my seat and ran down the aisle and in an instant, I was a new person. I was baptized in the river that ran through the campground. My mother bought a bible from the gift shop and had it dedicated to me. I still have that bible somewhere and I still think about that day when I had the love of Christ in me. But years have passed and I became indifferent. I still didn't understand because I was too young. In high school, I hated everyone in school because they never talked to me or asked me to be a part of their group. I started to think that being Deaf was a bad thing. There was no Deaf church in Waco, just a small group of Deaf who meet at a church every Sunday morning. They were much older than me so I never felt connected to them. Then I graduated from high school and moved to Lubbock where I attended Texas Tech University in 2005. I went to a Deaf church there and became reconnected with the church again. There were others who had the same experiences as me and yet they had a positive attitude. I've always wondered why. Then I realized that it's because Jesus told them to love others. My thoughts on the world began to change and realized that people don't hate me because I'm deaf. They're just ignorant and they need to be taught about the Deaf culture. Our job is to represent the Deaf community and work to prove that I am a product of God's love, not a defect. I am a child of the Everlasting One and I am loved by the creator of the universe, who knew my name long before I was born, He who placed the stars in their positions and gave them each a name, He who made the world and all living things, He who made the wind and tells it where to go, He who makes the oceans rumble and stills it with a wave of His hand, He who planted the seed of every blade of grass and every mighty oak, He who sent His Son to love the world just as He loved us. We all are given a choice. But only one will end in everlasting joy, the other in pain and despair.
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