The sound of silence is the loudest thing I can hear.

A woman once said, "I seldom think about my limitations, and they never make me sad. Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times; but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers." Helen Keller grew up unable to hear or see. But her limitations did not prevent her from becoming one of the most well known people in the world, even today. She is one of several people I look up to for inspiration when things are looking down.

When I started losing my hearing at around 18 months old, I wasn't affected by it because I was so young. But for my parents and two older sisters, their world was turned upside down the day they found out I was becoming deaf. One of the most common questions I've been asked while growing up was, "What is it like being deaf?" Even though I consider that an idiotic question, I do understand their curiousity. Honestly, I can't really give anyone a straight answer. I've been deaf for over 23 years and have never experienced the ability to hear as well as any other person. There are still some sounds I can barely hear, like a firecracker going off or a gunshot. Even with hearing aids on, it was not sufficient enough to perceive sound and decipher what is noise and what is not. I wore hearing aids from when I was very young until my junior year in high school before I decided that I had enough. Sometimes the world around me gets too loud, I just can't stand it.

High school is a time when a teenager's self esteem is based on their popularity status. Being the only deaf student in my class, my popularity was nonexistent. Nobody spoke to me, except a few. I always ate lunch alone, did my homework alone, and was almost always chosen last for partners in chemistry lab. My self esteem was naught, and I then became introverted and did not socialize with anyone, not even with the deaf community. I refused to sign with my mother or my sisters, or with anyone. I guess I was ashamed of who I was and felt that I would be an outcast for the rest of my life, because of my "disability." High school was over and I graduated and was more than ready to leave that place. When I arrived at Texas Tech, I was greeted by three of my roommates, all who were deaf. The mode of communication used was sign. For the first time in so long, I didn't feel left out. Every time something was being said, I didn't miss it. I didn't have to ask my mother to interpret for me. I didn't have to apologize and ask to repeat what was said. I didn't have to nod my head and look like an idiot when a question was asked. So then I promised myself that I would make more friends, and met every deaf student at Texas Tech. I had developed strong friendships with them, and I still keep in touch with them, even to this day. My self esteem soared during my time at Tech and my confidence as well. When I moved back to Waco, I became more involved with the deaf community and renewed old friendships. I became a different person.

On several occasions, I've wished I could hear. But after the life-changing experience I went through at Tech, I became more content with who I am. I can now honestly say I never want to become a hearing person, because it would literally destory the person I have become now. Patience, understanding, and perserverance are the things I've gained as a deaf person. It is a tough journey, this life I'm living now. But there's no checkered flag at the end of the race. No trophy I will win when I get to the end. Only thing I gain from this life is life itself. The privilege of being alive is something many people neglect. We are put on this earth not to live, but to be alive. Being alive doesn't mean breathing and eating. Being alive means to accept ourselves for who we are, to take chances without regrets, and to appreciate everything has happened to us, good or bad.

From Stranger Than Fiction:
"And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives."


Enough seriousness for now. I need to go wash off the red ink from my thumb. Apparently a red pen is a great tool to help prevent boredom.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." -Jeremiah 29:11-13 (New Living Translation)


Hello again,

Here I am sitting here again, watching Bourne Ultimatum, and it's after midnight on Christmas Eve. So I thought I'd get back on here and post something new.

I went out on the lake today with my dad in his brand spanking new Jon boat he bought with his Christmas bonus from work. We spent about an hour puttering around trees and down the river, and even stopped for a few minutes to do some crappie fishing. No luck in catching anything and my face was nearly frozen by that time. But all in all, it was awesome being back out on the lake again. We saw a group of pelicans on an old tree and that is a rare sight to see on Lake Waco. I had heard there was a couple of bald eagles living on the lake somewhere but did not get a chance to see them today. Ducks, blue herons, and seagulls were around every corner. Every now and thing a carp would roll across the surface of the water before going back down where the water is warm. Times like these make me wish we lived much closer to the lake.

So here's the update on college. So far, I've attended three schools: Texas Tech University, McLennan Communtiy College, and Texas State Technical College. The fourth one is a shocker to me since I never would think to attend there. But in the spring, I will be starting at Baylor University, and will go for a bachelor's in deaf education. Previously, I had worked towards a mechanical engineering degree and had planned on being a teacher afterwards, but something (or someone) told me that I needed to make a big change. So I'm nervous, not only because it's a new school, but also because it's a new major that is completely opposite than what I'm used to. But everyone has told me I should be a teacher, so if I screw up, it's not my fault :)

My oldest sister came to the house today to spend Christmas with the family. She brought her dog Daisy along and it made me realize how much I miss my blue heeler. It will be three weeks tomorrow since I gave him away and it still feels weird to drive up the driveway everyday and not see Blue sitting on the porch, waiting for me. But I know he's much happier where he is now.

I think that's enough for now. I'm starting to get a headache from not being asleep. Merry Christmas, and have a happy new year.

Greetings, I come in peace...no, not really

Well, where to start?

Maybe I should explain the website's name, http://www.unclejoescyclopstoe.blogspot.com/.

I'm certain most of you know that the word "uncle" means at least one of my siblings has at least one child. However, I'm not an uncle yet, not until late Februrary. My youngest sister is now 32 weeks into her pregnancy and I could not be more excited to be an uncle. The gender is unknown as of right now, but next month it will be announced whether she will be expecting a boy or a girl. It really doesn't matter to me either way. If it's a boy, I can take him fishing, teach him how to drive a stick, chew bubble gum just like the baseball pros do, and set off firecrackers in the backyard swimming pool. If it's a girl...well, I can buy her chapstick.

Cyclops' Toe. Yes, I do have one. When I was a kid, I had problems with ingrown toenails on both of my big toes. Several times, I had to have the nail removed so it could grow back again the right way. During one of those times, my left big toenail did not grow out the right way. So I had to have a minor surgery to correct the nail, and the result was a smaller nail which was about half the size of what would be normal. Then a few years later, I dropped a folding table on it. Needless to say, it hurt...a lot. Two weeks later, I lost the nail again. When it started growing back, the nail was thick, small, and unusual, and it only had to be trimmed once every 6 months. Last year, a friend of mine had named my toe Cyclops, because it had looked like a creature with one eye. So put all that together and you get my website's name. Not the prettiest name in the world, but it'll do for now.

So why a blog? Frankly, I don't have much to do. All I do now is watch the Discovery Channel, eat Flaming Hot Cheetos, and spend way too much time on the internet. I have dial up at home so it takes forever to do something, which would explain why I'm always on.

So to properly start off this blog, my name is James Joseph Bartlett II. I was named after my father's father, the original James Joseph Bartlett. My nickname was supposed to be Jimmy but my grandmother was against the idea of naming me after her ex-husband. So I was then nicknamed Joey. I absolutely forbid anyone to call me Joe, except for my family. I'm deaf, not hearing impaired, and have been for the last 23 years of my life. Some people would ask me, "What's it like being deaf?" There were times I wanted to ask back, "What's it like being hearing?" Stupid question, right? My point exactly.

So anyways, that's enough for my first blog. More will be written at a later time, if I can get myself to continue updating this blog, which I'm really terrible at doing.


So until then, live long and prosper